Monday, July 4, 2011

Domestic Violence.

Hello Blogsville!!!! How was your weekend??? Hope you all had an awesome 1. I would like to say happy 4th July to all Americans home and abroad and to everybody observing this day including moi :) .

Now to today`s post, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I decided to do this post coz i want to join the hundreds of thousands of millions voices saying NO to this barbaric act. We all agree that crazy stories about this act has been  hitting the headlines lately and in an alarming way. I have always thought Domestic Violence had to do with just hitting  your partner but my research i realized there is MORE to it than what we think.  . 


Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
  • Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
  • Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
  • Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
  • Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
  • Does not want you to work.
  • Controls finances or refuses to share money.
  • Punishes you by withholding affection.
  • Expects you to ask permission.
  • Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
  • Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
  • Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
  • Scared you by driving recklessly.
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
  • Forced you to leave your home.
  • Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
  • Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
  • Hurt your children.
  • Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
  • Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
  • Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
  • Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
  • Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
  • Held you down during sex.
  • Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
  • Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
  • Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
  • Ignored your feelings regarding sex.     via
If you in a way fall victim to any of the above mentioned,then your guess is as good as mine. We all have to get enlightened.


  1. Oh my! Who'd have thought jealousy and possessiveness was all abuse. Ei! With all this, then we have all fallen victim to abuse n abused others as well.
    Thanks, for the info Didi.

  2. Abuse comes in all ramifications. Thanks for this post. it is an eye-opener and I think you should spread this word beyond the confines of blogspot

  3. Great post....hope someone out there reads this before it's too late.


  4. Its true, abuse has many faces. Nice post. Hope it reached those that need to hear it.

  5. Violence,be it domestic or otherwise is very wrong.It is very unfortunate that people decide to take it to their homes.

  6. Hmm I used to see some of the points here as unhealthy relationships and not necessarily as abusive relationships (e.g kicking doors or punching walls to vent their anger).
    Anyway, it's good to see it as a starting point.

  7. I really like the direction you took this post! Very good tips to look out for oh!!

    PS. I've changed my blog url! I decided to keep the blog on Blogger after all. Check out the link: Sorry for the inconvenience X_x

    Muse Origins (formerly The Corner Shop)

  8. How am I supposed to read it. Couldn't get the encrypted.

  9. You did well putting this info together here. Being informed in this case is very useful.

  10. This is such an important topic. And it goes for both men and women. I'm glad you broke down the different forms of abuse because even today, people still think abuse is limited to physical.

    Great post! :)

  11. Finally found your blog. Great post

  12. Yes Efua,who would have thought???? i just wanted to go deep into it and what i found,i just had to share.

    You Welcome Mykey,true i have to spread and i`m proud to say its gone beyond blogsville.

    Thanks Blogaratti.

    LadyNgo,i just hope so too and i also pray they don`t just hear,but act upon it.

    9Ja-Great,It sure is wrong.I hope and pray it stops soon coz its getting out of hand.

    MsJB,Erm i think kicking the door open or punching walls to vent anger is an act of violence. Unhealthy,Abusive or whatever wrong attitude people put up in relationships are under the umbrella of VIOLENCE. :)

    Thanks Adiya, got the new address..getting my stalking game on. :)

    Oracle,i don`t understand what U mean.

    Think-About-it...Thank you,i`m glad you found the tips Useful..still surprised at the list i have up though.

    Soft Spoken, Thanks for the Compliments,It goes to both men and women,coz this is beyond the regular violence we hear about.

    Enybees-hub,Thanks :)

    Thank You TeTekai,stalking yours too in a bit. :)

  13. blessings Darling....
    It is also verbal and spiritual

  14. This is a great post!!
    people tend to think domestic violence is just when a man is physically abusive to a woman and even fewer people realise this goes both ways, man are also sometimes the abuse. Unfortunately knowing this doesnt always help as victims tends to try and explain their partners behaviours or can even feel like its their fault. :/

  15. Friends and family members must also create a support system where those who need to get out of abusive relationships can do so without undue pressure or criticism. Often times some people stay quiet because there's no one to turn to.

  16. ♫ *´”)
    ,¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) ♫ ♪
    (¸.•´ (¸.• ♫ ♪ It's upsetting that it happens at all. Also, really disturbed by the fact that the victim is usually portrayed as a female... when in all relaity, males too are victims of domestic violence.
    Violence is the first act of the incompetent. Domestic violence is a disgrace and is practiced by cowardly people (men & women) with no self control and no self respect. No woman/man should ever put up with it. I wish that women/men would not mislead themselves into thinking that they can change someone's nature... because they can't and should not try.
    I feel sad for all of the victims of abuse.

  17. Rhapsody,bless U too dear,hope you had a nice weekend.U are On point.

    lil Miss Sauniya.Thanks Dear.i`m glad i found this coz,now we all know the other aspects of this violence we tend to ignore

    Yes Adiya there should be a system like that,
    its not gonna be easy though but i guess with
    the right steps,like enlightenment it can hold.

    So true Seth,everybody keep yelling guys,Guys.
    i guess its coz the men are mostly silent about theirs.
    Its impossible to change someone,its not even worth the try & the earlier people understand this,the better. i also feel sad for victims too especially the silent ones.

  18. ♫ *´”)
    , ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) ♫ ♪
    (¸.•´ (¸.• ♫ ♪ Hey DiDi, just checking in to see how you have been doing these days. You seem a little quiet, I do hope that all is well with you.
    I sure am looking forward to your next entry. Update us soon.

  19. This post is on point and much appreciated

  20. I`m good Seth Thanks,was quite coz i was on Vacation :)..i`m back now...

    Thank you Chic Therapy